


All According to Plan

by Unforth



Series: Prompt Fics: Supernatural [49]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dean's an idiot, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Humor, M/M, Marriage Proposal, cas knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-19 09:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforth/pseuds/Unforth
Summary: Ficlet written to the prompt:  Destiel, roommates, idiot to lovers, and/or idiots with the other already realizing they’re lovers.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Prompt Fics: Supernatural [49]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/708447
Comments: 52
Kudos: 292





	All According to Plan

**Author's Note:**

> My Google drive is such a mess that I can't find things I started and didn't finish, and I was pretty sure I had at least one thing I wrote last fall and didn't post...and here it is. There might be others but I don't think so? (I definitely have unposted WIP, I just am fairly sure I've got nothing else I actually finished but then epic failed to post.)
> 
> So here, have this thing I wrote like 4 months ago and just now quickly edited.
> 
> (written for Lily on PB Discord, who probably has an AO3 but I dunno it...)

"Wait, what?"

Dean looked up from his scrambled eggs to find Sam staring at him, astonished. Blinking, Dean shoved a forkful in his mouth. "What?" he asked.

"First, ew, chew your damn food before you talk, and second, what do you mean you're going to date again?" demanded Sam, ticking off the points on his fingers like a doofus. He looked like a fricken doofus, too, his brow knit, his eyes narrowed, storm clouds a-gathering on that expression face, voice with an edge like he was about to rip Dean a new one.

Dean had no idea what he'd done or said wrong. 

"Uh...yeah? Why not? After umpteen zillion job changes and moves and car breakdowns, we're finally settled into a place and it's been a whole, like, three weeks, four days, and twenty..." he checked his cell phone over-dramatically. "...two minutes since something went catastrophically and expensively wrong. I’ve been single for years. Why wouldn't I date?"

"But what about Cas?" Sam looked aghast, and even more furious, and seriously, what the actual ever-loving fuck?

"What about him? He's--"

As if saying his name summoned him, Cas stumbled into the kitchen, six feet of lean muscles, tanned skin, and bed-head, buck-ass naked as he headed bleary-eyed to the kitchen cabinets.

"Morning," said Dean with a wave toward the full coffee carafe and the plate with scrambled eggs and bacon he'd made for his roommate.

"Fucking-- Pants, Cas!" Sam managed in strangled tones. 

"Oh." Cas looked at the table, looked at Sam, looked at Dean, glanced at his own nudity, and shrugged. "Sorry." He stumbled back out of the kitchen.

Dean chuckled around another mouthful of eggs.

"As I was saying, Cas can date too if he wants." 

"What. the. fuck!" Sam still sounded like the damn old lady who swallowed a fly, all croaky and choked up. "Did you break up? Did you fight? Are you poly? What the hell am I missing here?"

"Uh..." Dean shrugged, but his own confusion was increasing. Sam seemed so _sure_ of whatever the fuck he was on about... "Fuck if I know? _You’re_ the one missing the point. I'm talking about dating. Cause I've been single. For like, four years. The fuck are _you_ talking about?"

"Single," Sam repeated as if he'd never heard the fucking word before. "Single...for years?"

"Duh?" There was exactly nothing subtle or surprising about this. 

"And you and Cas...?"

"Are roommates?" Dean made the most “what the fuck” gesture he could think of with his hands, tossing his fork on his empty plate. "Like we've been since 2012? In college? When I was dating Cassie? And I've been S-O-L since she dumped my ass?"

"Single," Sam muttered incredulously. "Since Cassie. Oh my God."

"Wait - did you think...Cas and I?"

"He just came in here naked!"

Dean shrugged. "Yeah, he's a fricken exhibitionist. It's adorable."

"You two go to mixers together!"

"What can I say, I'm an awesome wingman!"

"You're literally always each others’ plus ones!"

"...uh...yeah? Free food? What kinda douche bag doesn't hook up his bestie if he can?"

"Bestie. BESTIE! You share a fricken bed!"

"And who's fault is that, Sasquatch?" Dean rolled his eyes at Sam's baffled look. "A decade plus sharing with your radiator ass, I get cold, and he gets nightmares, and we can get a one bedroom apartment this way - it's a win-win-win."

"You fricken masturbated to the sound of him moaning under the shower spray!"

"I did not!"

"Bullshit, Dean, I walked in on you!"

"That was one time!" protested Dean. Sam quirked an eyebrow at him. "One. Damn. Time." The eyebrow rose higher. "Okay...maybe twice." The eyebrow fricken somehow rose higher still. "And so what if I did? If I have to secretly masturbate while fantasizing about him, how does that scream 'in a relationship' to your thick ass? Do you think I'd--"

Cas slumped back into the kitchen and Dean snapped his mouth shut. Aw hell, had Cas heard? Dean's cheeks flushed hot, but Cas seemed as oblivious as earlier, and had somehow taken the entire past ten minutes just to get a pair of boxer briefs on.

"Cas! Talk to him!" said Sam, throwing his hands up.

"About what?" Cas asked blankly. Embarrassment fading - Cas had missed everything, thank fricken _God_ \- Dean leaned back, expression going smug. 

Now Sam would learn.

"Dean is saying he's going to start dating again!" spluttered Sam.

Cas froze.

Dean's heart sunk.

"Oh." Cas fixed Dean with a flat, gorgeous, blue-eyed stare.

"I mean...yeah," said Dean, grabbing his coffee cup and taking a chug to cover his sudden uncertainty. It was fucking hot, and he spluttered and gasped as he tried to act like he hadn’t burned the shit out of his mouth. "Why not? Things are good!"

"Yes," Cas said slowly. "Things are very good."

"See, Sam?" An edge of desperation weakened Dean's attempt at confident certainty, and he smashed the mug down so hard coffee sloshed onto his hand. "You're making a mountain out of a damn anthill!"

Cas stared at Dean.

"Riiiiight," said Sam, glancing from Dean to Cas. "That's obviously exactly what's going on here. I'm gonna…” He looked at them each again. “I’m gonna...go somewhere...now." 

"Uh...I gotta drive you to the doc?" Dean said.

"Yeah, in like...an hour. I'm going," Sam repeated, looking around the small room for an escape. "Over there." He gestured toward the living room. "Bye."

"Whatever, bitch," muttered Dean as Sam closed the door behind himself.

Cas. stared.

"Do we need to talk about this?" asked Dean weakly.

As if a spell had broken, Cas startled, shook his head, and sprang into motion. He poured himself a cup of steaming coffee, grabbed the plate of breakfast Dean had made for him, walked to the table, hooked a chair with a foot to pull it out and sat down. He caught Dean with a broad grin, and a tension Dean hadn't realized tightened his chest eased.

"No," Cas said serenely. Dean heaved a relieved sigh.

"Oh, thank God. I'm sorry Sam's a dumb ass. I've set him straight, no worries."

"'Set him straight,'" echoed Cas. "Of course."

_Play it cool, Winchester...just gotta settle this once and for all, and then Sam'll finally understand how monumentally he misunderstood, and everything will go back to normal..._

"I can't believe he thought we were dating!" Despite his self-admonishment, Dean couldn't keep an edge of panic from his voice. _Don't be ridiculous. This is a nothing burger. This is the nothingest nothing burger to ever burg. It's--_

"In two days," Cas began, utterly serious, and every word, every syllable, seemed to take a fricken lifetime. The tension returned to Dean's chest, ratcheted up about a billion times, until he couldn't even bring himself to blink lest he miss a single nuance in those deep blue eyes. Waiting for Cas to continue, Dean’s hands shook and silence echoed as if from the abyss in his head. 

But Cas said nothing else, just stared at Dean with a flat smile.

_In two days...what's in two days? Oh, right--_

"That’s...that’s the 'couples only restaurant night' deal that you made reservations for, isn’t it?" That had been a clever idea on Cas' part, that if they played the couple, they could get a relatively cheap meal at one of the city's nicest restaurants.

 _If we_ ‘played the couple’ _..._

"In two days," Cas repeated, all steadiness and self-assurance as he stared fricken daggers through Dean. "I'm going to propose to you with the ring I've had stashed in my sock drawer for the last four months."

Propose.

Ring.

_What._

"And you're going to say yes."

_I am?_

"And then you'll be absolutely right."

 _When the fuck have I been right about_ literally anything _?_

"We won't be dating."

_WE. HAVE. NOT. BEEN. DATING._

"We'll be affianced."

_I'm going to say yes?_

"And I'm very impressed that you've sussed out my purpose enough to suggest to your brother that he's mistaken about our relationship status..." Cas' words had an air of nonchalance and his expression was pure murder. 

Dean was dead. 

"...but I'd appreciate if you would keep it a secret until it's official."

Dean blinked.

Dean stared.

Cas waited expectantly, pinned him helpless like some fucking butterfly, canines showing through his smile like fangs.

_I'm...going to say yes???????_

"Oh," Dean managed.

_???????_

"Excellent," Cas said, beaming, all tension leaving his expression and body language. He took a sip of his coffee and sank back in his chair in a relieved sigh. 

_???????????????????_

"Good talk."

_I'm going to say...?_

"Yeah..." muttered Dean.

_Fuck yeah, I'm going to say yes!_

"Some...good...talk, Cas," he mumbled. "Yeah. Two days. Awesome."

Guess he wasn't going to be playing the field again after all.

Nursing his coffee, grabbing his plate, humming ‘here comes the bride under his breath,’ Cas wandered out of the kitchen, leaving the door open in his wake. 

"He's all yours, Sam."

A moment later, sasquatch was back in the room, looking bewilderment after Cas.

"Well?"

"So...uh...surprise, I'm bi."

"Duh."

"And I guess I've been dating Cas for like four years."

"Double duh."

"And...wait, what? Double duh? What are you, five?"

"Says the guy who didn't realize he's been dating his best friend for years."

"Of course I realized!" Dean bald-faced bullshitted.

"Honestly, Dean?"

"Scout's honor!"

"You were never a scout, and, _honestly_ , Dean?" Sam repeated blithely. "This is the stupidest, most absurd, most utterly, completely _you_ thing you've _ever done_. I'm in awe. Everyone is going to laugh their asses off when I tell them about this."

"You wouldn't!"

"In my best man speech."

"Noooo!"

"Yes," said Sam with a wicked grin. "Remember when I said I'd get you back for pantsing me in front of my entire class?"

"That was twenty fucking years ago! You were in kindergarten! I was 8!"

"Yeah, well - gotcha."

_Maybe I can still say no._

"This is gonna be amazing," chortled Sam.

_...or maybe I can let the bitch have this one._

"Laugh it up, furball."

_Cause there ain't no way in hell I'm saying no, when saying yes means I get to have Cas._

"Oh, I will, and so will everyone else. You're something else."

_I mean...looked at from a certain perspective...this couldn't have gone better if I'd planned it._

"All according to plan."

_So...I planned it all._

"Yeah. Right. Just keep telling yourself that, Dean."

_Obviously._

Cas leaned around the door frame, miraculously cleaned up, shaven, and ready for his day. "You ready to go...sweetheart?"

 _How good am I? So good that I landed the dude of my dreams_ by accident _._

"Oh yeah - yeah, let's do this," grinned Dean.

_Let's date, and get engaged, and get hitched, and fuck like bunnies, and spend the rest of our goddamn stupid lives together. Let's do all of this._

"Perfect," Cas smiled, and Dean's heart went full melty chick flick moment.

_Score._

"You're both fucking morons," said Sam, rolling his eyes.

Fuck what Sammy thinks.

_Let's. do. This._


End file.
